


Orange Skies Ahead

by osmalic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-War, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-16
Updated: 2009-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osmalic/pseuds/osmalic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Hogwarts in shambles, the desks eating students, the silverware staging a revolt, Headmaster Snape has to hire Curse-Breaker Lupin to clean out the Room of Requirement. But a mistake in their past threatens their new relationship, and soon there will be new decisions to factors that don't involve transfiguring the tapestries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orange Skies Ahead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nimrod_9](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nimrod_9).



The monthly faculty meeting has been dragging on for too long, and the headache Severus Snape has been nursing for the past few hours has developed into a full-fledged migraine. It's not the worst meeting he's been to (once, Dumbledore had led the meeting on for two days, all because the previous headmaster was adamant that Hogwarts should host the Triwizard Tournament), but it is certainly taking its toll on him.

It also doesn't help that Minerva McGonagall seems to have inherited the former headmaster's love for rambling, as she continues to read from her long list of expenses wrought during the last month.

"Thank you, Minerva," he finally deigns to interrupt, holding up a hand. "I'm sure everyone here finds it exciting, but perhaps if you simply reproduce a copy and send out a memo."

"And waste perfectly good ink, Severus?" she scoffs, looking at him over the rim of her glasses. "I only have three pages to go."

"Good gracious, look at the time," Severus says dryly. "I'm afraid we must hurry this along, as Madame Pomfrey has First Years recently recovering from that cursed desk that tried to eat them."

"Madame Pomfrey has left, Headmaster," Flitwick whispers.

Severus sneers down at him, who looks up at him sheepishly. Insolent man, doesn't he know that Severus is trying to save him? Ungrateful lot, all of them. "Well," he grits out, "I'm sure Hooch has somewhere to go right now, as well. Aye, Madame?"

"Yes, Minerva," Hooch says gamely, looking bored. "Close the meeting so I can get a pint before the pub closes."

Minerva glares at her, then sighs, swishing her wand so the papers rearrange themselves before her. "Well then, as you all know from my report on the budget."

"Well-research and extensive, as always," Hagrid booms his approval.

Minerva preens. "Then you all know that we still suffer from problems on the necessary materials for running our school. We've coped nicely so far, except for some random problems." Here, she pauses as everyone remembers what exactly those _problems_ entail. "But it is high time we address the fact that taking things from the Room of Requirement has had certain repercussions on our classes."

"Do you suggest we return them then?" Severus asks, rubbing his temple. Despite the seeming progress of this meeting, his disposition is failing him. He wishes a faculty meeting is an appropriate time to bring out his Firewhisky. "I doubt we have enough money to replace the things we need, though."

"Nonsense," Minerva replies briskly. "The Room of Requirement has all sorts of equipments that can be reused! Despite their certain...quirks, they are actually very useful. The First Years are still using the desks that we got when we first re-opened. And the ballroom draperies have been transfigured magnificently.if I say so myself.so it can cover the blasted hole on the ceiling of the Great Hall."

"Surely we have other options," Horace Slughorn puts in, looking pained as if recalling a particularly bad memory. "We needn't have to depend on the Room of Requirement. The things there were put there for a reason, and they're not even good enough to use for teaching material in my class! We can always ask for donations."

"We cannot!" Sinistra snipes. "Haven't you heard what Minerva said? With the enrolment at an all-time low since 1900's, we cannot afford to buy new equipment to cover those that have been destroyed over the years."

"Aurora, stop encouraging Minerva with your quotes," Severus demands wearily, ignoring Minerva's glower at his direction. "And Minerva, we honestly do not need to know every single detail of our expenses during the monthly faculty meeting when it can be easily sent out in memos. And may I remind you that the same desks have the habit of trying to eat Vector's class."

"More like _nibbling,_ " Slughorn offers.

Severus ignores him. "And the draperies in the dining hall tried to kill the Ravenclaw quidditch team when they lost against the Gryffindors last week. Not to mention the many other incidents we've had over the months. The Doddles boy has barely recovered from being attacked by that cursed doorknob. Barring throwing them all out and getting new equipment, what else do you propose we do?"

"Why," Minerva says, looking pleased at the question. "we hire a Curse Breaker, of course. It will be marginally less expensive, and we certainly do need help in rebuilding the Astronomy Tower."

"Done," Severus interrupts with a triumphant slap on the desk. "I'll assign you to that task, and you may co-ordinate with Slughorn on who to hire. Someone we already know, preferably. We don't need another one of those reporters acting as a philanthropist snooping around for stories in our school." He stands up, then feels the world lurch. He takes a deep breath. "Now, if you excuse me..."

He wobbles on his feet and makes his way to the loo, ignoring the protests of the other professors behind him. Really, he did them a favour by walking out. Severus is ready to puke on their shoes, just to spite them.

* * *

Severus feels tremendously better by dinnertime that it allows him to glower over the student in the Great Hall, wondering which one of those insolent children had the balls to sneeze on him. The damned flu has been going around since the temperature dropped at the start of winter. He doesn't doubt at least one of them hasn't been to the hospital wing to get the prescribed medicine.

Still, it seems that the chilli tofu does the trick, and he settles down to consume his dinner quietly.

He startles out of his thoughts at a brief touch on his arm. Minerva is looking at him with concern. "Are you well?" she asks quietly.

"Of course," Severus replies, frowning as he turns back to his dinner. "Have you had success on finding a suitable Curse-Breaker?"

Minerva brightens considerably. "Horace had a most excellent suggestion," she replies staunchly, moving back to resume her attempts at spearing tofu drenched in chilli sauce. "We've contacted him, and he'll be by later to see if he can work with our schedule, check the cursed artefacts around the school..." She trails off, then barks out, _"Severus!_ Do I have to drag you to Madame Pomfrey?"

"What?" Severus tells her affronted. He resists licking the bowl.the House Elves have outdone themselves, and Minerva is spoiling his dinner. "I trust both your judgments. As long as the person you've employed doesn't eat us out of a house and home, we'll be set."

"Because apparently you'll be doing that yourself," Slughorn says cheerfully from Severus' other side.

Severus blinks at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"Severus, you haven't even noticed your spoon has been chewing your finger throughout dinnertime!"

Severus manages to keep his yelp at a lower volume, although some of the students closer to their table turn their heads to their direction when he quickly pushes back the chair and hurls the cursed spoon across the hall. They quickly lose their interest when he sits back down immediately and snarls, _"Accio_ spoon!" without caring that Dennis Creevey promptly loses his own silverware. "Get your own," he calls out to the astonished child, then turns his glare back to Minerva. "What? I specifically asked for this chilli tofu!"

Across the hall, some of the First Years begin to shriek about a cursed spoon trying to eat their homework. Slughorn sighs and hurries towards them, muttering under his breath, "...damned Curse-Breaker had better arrive soon."

"Don't think I haven't noticed," Minerva warns him, turning back to her dinner. "You've been listless and sick, paler than usual."

"I have the flu," Severus tells her sullenly. "Just because I have the sense to wipe my nose after sneezing unlike those rodents..." He glares at the students who pass by their table.

Minerva gives him a strange look. "Perhaps you should have Madame Pomfrey look into your condition. You're energetic at one time, then you immediately crash. The evaluation by the Ministry of Magic is coming soon, and you have to be at your best."

"I know," Severus snaps. "Which is why I had you handle finding the Curse-Breaker yourself. They wouldn't look too kindly at a Death Eater hiring someone knowledgeable of the Dark Arts."

 _"Previous_ Death Eater, Severus!"

"It doesn't matter," Severus says, his belly lurching at the thought. "I can handle my own affairs, and I certainly..." He stops when he realises Minerva is distracted, which is when he notices the commotion at the Hufflepuff table. "Oh for..." He takes out his wand and stalks over, Minerva at his heels.

Rebecca Forster, a Third Year, turns to him with tear-stained eyes. "The spoon has been eating the bowl, sir," she whimpers. "And it's already gone through all our notes for Herbology." They watch as Slughorn tries to restrain the spoon, and to their horror, it seems the other silverwares have "woken" and are staging a revolt.

"This is not a valid excuse for not passing your Herbology homework, Miss Forster," Severus tells her briskly, then barks out, "Slughorn, get back."

"D-don't mind me," Slughorn grunts, not sparing them a glance. "I have this.good heavens!.under control."

"Severus," Minerva says sharply from behind him.

Severus whirls around amidst shrieking, finds that the Gryffindor table is steadily clearing, with students running towards the nearest exit. And the plates seem to be...glowing? He raises his wand. "Minerva, get the children out of here."

"Children, to this side, please," Minerva calls out. "No dawdling!"

The plates jump off the table and unto the benches, marching steadily towards the Hufflepuff table. A flurry of activity attempts to distract the professors and children as they try to avoid the commotion.

 _"Confringo!"_ one of the Gryffindors cries, pointing to the plates, only to have the spell bounce back and ricochet into the floating chandelier, with all the candles bursting into flames and immediately melting.

"Five points from Gryffindor!" Severus shouts, making his way towards the lot. "Miss Weasley, you will submit a ten-inch report to Professor Slughorn about the properties of ceramic and why a burning spell will not work with it. _Expulso!"_ The plate explodes and shatters at the point of his wand before he turns to the chandelier.

"Severus, behind you!" someone roars.perhaps it is Minerva, or another professor, or a student, but Severus heeds the command instinctively. He has a split second to realise that a knife is hurling towards him.

 _"ARESTO MOMENTUM!"_ comes a loud voice, just as Severus ducks. When he looks up, the fork has been neutralised, and a new-comer stands before him, pointing to the chandelier. _"Aguamenti!_ Severus, are you alright?"

Severus glares at the man speaking to him. He knows that voice. "Fine," he says stiffly, refusing the hand offered to him.

Remus Lupin only looks around, and says with a wry grin, "Well, it looks like I have my work cut out for me."

* * *

To his credit, Lupin manages to wrestle some of the silverware together and stops the silverware revolution by uttering a few simple words in a tone that reminds Severus of a hostage negotiation. When he finishes, he gathers the motionless silverware into a bowl and hands it over to Slughorn, with strict instructions to keep them under a freshly-washed towel dipped from the lake. Then he turns to Severus and Minerva, saying, "Do I still need to give you my credentials?"

"My office, now," Severus orders, walking away, expecting them to follow him.

When they get to the Headmaster's office, he immediately sits on his rickety office chair, expecting his Deputy Headmistress to launch into a flurry of explanation, just as she had done earlier during the faculty meeting. However, she only raises a thin eyebrow at him and says, "I needn't have to explain myself, should I?"

"I asked both you and Horace to use your judgment to look for someone capable of protecting the children from the various cursed materials in this school. And you've chosen a werewolf?"

Minerva crosses her arms. "As I recall," she says dryly, "you only specified that the hired Curse-Breaker should not eat us out of a house nor a home. I think Remus Lupin here agrees that he won't be able to do that, don't you?"

"Certainly," Lupin agrees.

"Stay out of this," Severus snaps at him. "Minerva, this isn't the time to focus on your ideals. The Regents from the Ministry of Magic have been looking at us since..." He pauses and looks away before he continues, "Not to mention the parents will."

"Oh, hush, Severus!" Minerva admonishes, looking irritated. "Horace and I decided to hire Remus Lupin because of his qualifications, and I believe he's managed to exceed expectations! None of us managed to quash the silverware for months, and Merlin certainly knows we've tried!"

"I managed to stop them a few weeks ago just fine," Severus mutters sulkily. One of his misgivings he suspects will always linger with him is how his Deputy Headmistress still manages to make him feel like a child swinging his feet in an office while waiting for Headmaster Dumledore's punishment.

"Yes, you did, and look how violent they still became!" Minerva points out.

All this time, Lupin has managed to keep quiet, but he finally says, "If it's going to be too much trouble..."

"Nonsense," Minerva begins.

"It will," Severus puts in, finally glancing towards him. He sneers at Lupin, "You might as well know that many people still do no look upon the school kindly ever since I was placed in this position."

"Now, Severus."

"You must understand my unease," Severus goes on, ignoring her. "The student registration is at an all-time low, matched only by the Black Death during the 14th century. You can see how a werewolf joining our ranks might be crippling to Hogwarts' reputation?"

"More crippling than constantly having cursed items sending students to the hospital wing?" Lupin retorts.

It is, unfortunately, what ends the discussion.

* * *

Lupin instructs them not to collect anything more from the Room of Requirement while he rounds up the materials that have already been taken out. Over the next week, he manages to de-curse most of the Great Hall draperies using a complex method that includes Rune scripts that even Bathsheda Babbling has not heard of. Severus has to admit that the man has made much progress, and is already moving unto working on the student-eating desks in the dungeon.

Severus manages to avoid him, focusing instead on the amount of paperwork that has been piling on his desk over the couple of weeks. He sees Lupin in the Great Hall during lunchtime, but he's gone back to eating his dinner in private, opting to finish his work. His headaches steadily get worse and his nkles swell enough that he has to abandon his daily walk by the lake. He gets an Owl from one of the Regents, scheduling their tour of the school for assessment. Despite his illness, he keeps busy.

He knows he wouldn't be able to avoid Lupin forever, but he can damn well try.

Three weeks later, he knows his time is up when he hears a _swoosh_ in his fireplace indicating a call. Lupin's voice trickles through the cackling fire: "Severus, do you have time for a talk?"

Severus glances at the papers on his desk and sighs. "Come in. Mind the loose brick on the left mantle."

Lupin steps out of the fireplace a few seconds later, brushing ash from his shoulders. "You should have that fixed," he says by way of greeting. "It's an inconvenience to your visitors."

 _So is having you in my office,_ Severus thinks peevishly. He crosses his arms. "What do you want?"

Lupin hands over an inch thick of parchment paper. "Here's the list of cursed items I've managed to work on and my progress. You'll notice on page 4, I've had to consult with Bill Weasley, but his method didn't work so I had to use another spell." He pauses, long enough for Severus to glance up from the report. "Severus...are you alright?"

"What?" Severus glares back. "That's not a part of your report, Lupin."

"No, just..." Lupin shrugs, saying amicably, "You just seem a tad paler than when I last saw you this afternoon." He steps closer.

Severus takes an instinctive step backwards, alarmed. For one second, he's sure Lupin was about to touch him! "It must be the light," he growls, surprised at the quiver in his voice. "The candles in this room...not as good as the natural light from the windows..."

"Mmm," Lupin says, his tone noncommittal. He keeps his hands to his sides but he doesn't give Severus space. "Anyhow, I wanted to tell you that I'll have to make an inventory of the cursed items in the Room of Requirement, possibly see which ones can still be used and which ones have to be kept inside. With luck, we'll manage to get rid of some of the things there, maybe even remove the curses on others."

"Alright," Severus agrees.

There's another long pause before Lupin goes on, "I really do think I need there ought to be someone with me there."

"You're a grown man," Severus says, annoyed. "Go do it yourself."

"Petty," Lupin replies dryly. "And as such I am already a 'grown man', I know my limits and refuse to go there alone when I know I am to deal with Cursed Items. I am asking you because Slughorn has class and I would rather not put more into his plate. I know, for a fact, that you have...practice...when it comes to these kinds of things."

Severus' eye catches the notice from the Board of Regeants on his desk. It really wouldn't do to have an accident in the school, especially if it's a visitor. He sighs. "Fine, then." He checks to see if his wand is secured in a holster inside his robes. He raises an eyebrow when Remus grabs a couple of parchment and charms a Quick-Quotes Quill from Severus' desk, sliding them inside his pocket. "Those are mine," Severus says.

Lupin only gives him a grin. "Now, Severus, this is all the reimbursement I'm asking for and you still refuse? Tsk!"

Their footsteps echo through the large corridors, empty except for the occasional child who has free time from class, or Filch who traipses through the castle despite the early hour. Severus tries to keep ahead but Lupin manages to match his steps.

"So," Lupin says conversationally, "you've been avoiding me."

"I've done no such thing," Severus says, quickening his steps. He ignores the way his breath quickens as he half-jogs up the stairs. His long legs have always been a blessing when he wishes to sprint, but Lupin seems to have kept himself in better shape. "How dare you presume such! I've already made it clear when you first arrived that I've been busy."

"No," Lupin interrupts. "I've been sending you messages since Bill and Fleur's party months ago, but you've always sent them back. I thought that Minerva and Slughorn's invitation was an extension of yours.as an apology, perhaps."

"An apology!" Severus fumes, twitching his robes away from the man's feet. He hates that Lupin has apparently inherited his dead friend Black's superior attitude. "I have nothing to apologise for, and I refuse to be condemned for things I had no control over."

Lupin laughs sharply. "Oh, I suppose I should believe you had no control over."

"And anyhow," Severus continues frostily, "I wasn't the one who upended the Firewhisky into Potter's head. You have Molfoy to thank for that.and, strangely enough, Miss Granger. Just because I didn't fawn over your ward like the rest of the wizarding world doesn't mean I should be made responsible for his idiocy."

A look of confusion, then anger washes over Lupin's face. "That's not..."

Severus stops abruptly, waving a hand over a blank space over the wall. "Here we are," he says briskly, hoping Lupin will drop the subject. "Your needs preclude mine, so feel free. I will..." He backs away for a few steps, lets Lupin handle the search for the entrance to the Room of Requirement. His feet feel ridiculously painful and he has to hold onto the wall when a bout of dizziness washes over him.

He watches as Lupin turns away instantly, walking through the corridor and back again. It takes a few minutes before the door appears, but he doesn't berate the time it takes. Instead, they wordlessly walk inside to see the familiar space, the domed ceiling reaching higher to accommodate the windows. The last time Severus was here to pull out some tapestries that now hang over the destroyed panel by the Ravenclaw dormitory, the Room looked wrecked with the evidence of Fiendfyre, and they had found a carpal bone.human's, and Horace had given a sigh. Severus had sent the bone back to Crabbe's mother, who never acknowledged his message. The items, however, seem untouched by the tragedy during the Battle of Hogwarts, as if their cursed states have managed to save them. Dust coats every surface, with the occasional footprints on the floor from when they last entered. He can still see Minerva's handprint on one of the ruined desks, where she had run her fingers over the carved design the last time they were here.

Lupin looks around. The charmed parchment and quill hover by his side, ready to jot down whatever he says. "The Vanishing Cabinet has been removed?" he asks.

Severus shrugs. "They were the first to be destroyed," he says finally. He rubs his head, feeling the effect of the brisk walk taking its toll.

Lupin nods, a faraway look in his eyes. Severus supposes he is recalling the Battle of Hogwarts only a little over a year ago, when he awoke with his then-wife Nymphadora Tonks sitting by his bedside. Severus had been mostly delirious at that time, locked in his own delusions under the influence of Nagini's poison, but he had heard enough of the rumours over the next few weeks, especially with the news that Tonks and Lupin had apparently divorced.

He clears his throat and puts that thought away. "How did Minerva manage to contact you?" he asks. Strange, there's a rumbling in his stomach that makes him want to throw up. Perhaps at the thought of Minerva talking to Lupin about the problems in the school.

Lupin glances up from his appraisal of a drawer, which glowed faintly. "It was Slughorn, actually," he replies, after a thoughtful pause. "Apparently, he's been keeping in touch with Bill and Fleur since their party a few months back.the one where you were absolutely sloshed?" Severus bristles, but Lupin only grins. "Slughorn knows Defense Against the Dark Arts, but he's not keeping up with Prevention and Protection Against Cursed Items, and his research on those blasted utensils wasn't going anywhere. He contacted Bill, who contacted me...and here I am."

Severus nods, then broaches slowly, "I take your son is staying with Miss Nymphadora."

Lupin gives him another strange look before he pulls out another drawer. "Hold on to this, will you?" He passes a book.tome, really, and Severus staggers at its weight. Lupin continues, "Theodore occasionally stays with his mum, yes. You can say that it's...really something we disagree about. He normally stays with me, but with this job..." He trails off, finally says, "Dora's parenting attitude is quite different from mine."

Severus recalls Miss Nymphadora doing body shots in Bill and Fleur's party and shrugs. He is not about to judge Nymphadora's parenting skills. His only clear memory of her is seeing her snogging one of his old female students in many occasions.during that damned party, even. He recalls getting uncomfortably turned on, then pissed at himself, and he probably told Lupin something about keeping his ex-wife in line, which led to what Lupin now calls being 'absolutely sloshed'. "I'm sure she has her moments."

"Nymphadora is a wonderful mother," Lupin tells him flatly. "But she doesn't discipline Teddy enough, and now he's..." He pauses, then sighs, looking up at Severus. "Look, I appreciate the small talk, but I really don't want to talk about Teddy and Nymphadora right now."

Severus nods, looking away. He knows Miss Nymphadora and Lupin had an amicable divorce, but everyone knows they both don't approve of each other's child-rearing ways. It had been a hot topic during the party, but it's strange how the thought makes his stomach roil. Then he realises that it may be for another reason.

"Alright," Lupin interrupts his thoughts. "It's a quick assessment, but I believe I can break the list down to _Immediate Concern, Needs Further Research, Salvageable,_ and _Just Throw it Away._ This blanket may be singed, but it can still suffocate someone and...Severus?"

Severus has been trying to keep up with what he's been saying, he really has, but he only manages to gasp out, "I need to..."

Lupin takes a step towards him, alarmed. "Your face is white, I should."

"Loo! Water!" Severus burbles out. "Now!"

Later, he will contemplate the ingenuity of having a room that immediately answers all his needs, but right now, all Severus is thankful for is the toilet that magically appears before him, saving him from the added embarrassment of chucking into Lupin's shoes before passing out.

* * *

Severus immediately recognises the hospital wing's familiar ceiling, what with him spending quite a few weeks confined in it during the first few weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts. He rolls to his side, notices that Pomfrey is watching him with her beady eyes.

"Those blasted children," he croaks out.

Pomfrey gives an annoyed sound and passes him a glass of water, which Severus immediately gulps down. "You really should have come to me before it came to this," she reprimands. "And this time, you can't blame 'those blasted children' for your predicament, as well."

"Beth Doddles and her brother caught the flu and they've been taking their turns passing on their gems to the rest of the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor dormitory during the past two months," Severus points out. He's exhausted, probably from puking. Which reminds him. "Lupin...did I make a mess?"

"What?" Pomfrey looks bewildered.

"In the Room of Requirement," Severus explains, squeezing his eyes shut. The echoes of the Marauders' voices jeer at the back of his mind, _Ickle Sevvy missing his mama so much, he's spewing on his clothes._ "I must..."

"You have more things to worry about!" Pomfrey interrupts sharply, her expression turning exasperated. "You do remember that every time the Headmaster is brought to the hospital wing, it triggers an automatic report that lands itself on the Ministry's desk!"

Severus _has_ forgotten, and it makes him wince. Ever since the Ministry learned about Dumbledore's more-or-less suicidal turn during his last year as Headmaster, the Regents from the Ministry of Magic have become extra cautious about the state of the next Headmaster. When there was no choice but to bring Severus back in as the Headmaster due to a magical clause in the Ministry declaration with Hogwarts, they've put up extra precautions including this one. "A simple cold won't raise their hackles," he mutters.

Pomfrey sits down heavily beside him, her eyes wide as she fidgets with her skirt. "Headmaster, you haven't...I mean, you..." She clears his throat, then says, very, very gently, "Severus, you're pregnant."

Severus stares at her, then tries to make his voice work. "I'm...what?" he manages.

Pomfrey reaches out. "Severus."

"Don't touch me!" Severus shouts. He feels like he's out of his mind, seeing the scene played out with someone else sitting in his place as he hovers on the ceiling. He blinks, crosses his arms. "That's quite...Madame, that's impossible!"

"Your state proves otherwise," Poppy says, slowly and gently. _dammit,_ it makes Severus want to jump out of bed and run out of the room screaming. _This is not possible._ "Your genealogy has always been an interesting one, Severus, and it was always a possibility that you would get pregnant. Your great-uncle at your mother's side gave birth to a healthy boy."

"Then I..." Severus shakes his head. "No, no that _cannot be,_ Pomfrey."

The door opens suddenly, and Minerva pokes her head in. "There's someone from the Board of Regents here to see you, Severus," she says, her voice betraying her disapproval. "She's demanding to talk to you."

"I cannot," Severus says weakly, then clears his throat. "I... _Minerva."_ His voice cracks, and he suddenly wishes he can weep.

Minerva takes one look at him and nods before she pops back out. Her voice comes through the door, _"I'm afraid he's not feeling well at the moment..."_ before the door slams shut behind her.

Severus puts a hand on his stomach and squeezes his eyes shut. This can't be real, but if it is...if it is, then he should... He straightens and turns to Pomfrey. "What should I be expecting?" he asks, hoping some of his bravado will convince Poppy.

"Oh, Severus," Poppy sighs, probably not believing him. It doesn't matter. "You collapsed because you haven't been eating well. The child is well into its fourth month. I simply do not know how you didn't notice."

"I just thought the House Elves have been generating better feasts than expected!" Severus defends. "And I've gained weight since I abandoned my walks by the lake because of..." _Swollen ankles,_ he wants to end, but he stops. He should have at _least_ suspected. But, really, who would suspect that swollen ankles can be a symptom for _male pregnancy?!_

Poppy nods briskly, going through her storage. "I currently only have medicine for women," she says, pulling out rows of bottles. "We'll get you into a better diet, hopefully so you won't collapse again. It's because you haven't been taking the proper nutrition that you've collapsed." She pauses, then turns to Severus again. There's a curious look in her eyes. "I have to ask now, though. You may also not wish to keep the child."

"Keep?" Severus repeats. He wishes he sound less like a parrot and more like someone...who's not about to fall apart with the sudden news. Then he realises exactly what she's asking and he yelps, "Are you asking if you'd like me to abort?"

"The current laws allow you to terminate by this time, if that is what you wish," Pomfrey says evenly.

Severus hates the pity that he sees in her eyes. He knows he could...he probably _should._ Severus' Muggle background carries some risks if he continues the pregnancy at his age, and the social stigma that will be tacked on the child will be terrible when he grows up. The child will be constantly judged with his parent's mistakes, and Severus doesn't...he knows that it will be hard...

But he still says softly, "I'll think about it." He wants to curl up on his bed and sleep just for a few hours. To clear his mind. He needs to be alone.

Pomfrey nods, then goes on gently, "I have to ask, though...maybe you'd want to contact the other parent?"

At this, Severus draws his knees up to his chin and slides further into the blanket. If he allows himself to think about it, he can remember four months ago.Bill and Fleur's party, how he stayed at one corner sullenly, how he drank champagne, then quickly moved to whisky. He remembers Malfoy and Potter getting into an argument, Weasley shouting, and then there was the Firewhisky incident over Potter, and it had made him _laugh._ Surely somebody had been there, affected by the whisky and laughter and Potter's unfortunate accident and...

And if he lets himself recall, he remembers waking up the next morning, his sheets stained and his back throbbing with that delicious ache. He can remember teeth on his shoulders, palms on his hips, his hands clenched on the sheets. That's all.

He doesn't remember coming home with anyone. For all he knows, Severus can be carrying _anyone's child right now._

He curls on his bed and closes his eyes. He doesn't answer anymore of Pomfrey's questions.

* * *

Strangely enough, what makes Severus get up from the bed that night is the sour thought that none of the Headmasters in Hogwarts ever had to deal with these kinds of problems during their time. Thinking how Headmaster Dumbledore might have dealt with his own pregnancy tells Severus he is spending too much time avoiding his problems, and this pushes him to slowly creep out of his bed, leaving the privacy of the confinement room.

Madame Pomfrey has already retired for the night, thus Severus makes his lonely way through the hallways, down the endless flights of stairs to the privacy of his dungeons.

He pauses at the corridor to allow himself a maudlin moment. Winter is slowly turning harsher, and there's still a gaping hole at one side of the Astronomy that needs to be fixed. He'll talk to Minerva to-morrow, try to find something in the Room of Requirement that may be temporarily Transfigured into a sturdy wall. He'll have to speak with Lupin about this as well.

Severus thinks about Lupin and his son. He can remember the last time they talked, in Bill and Fleur's party (that blasted party.why does everything go back to that night?). Lupin has said something about his work, how he's working to support his son. He doesn't remember anything much, only that Lupin said something about _"raising Theodore right"_ , now that he has this chance. Nymphadora had wandered by, and she'd told Lupin, "Oh, _Remus,_ he's just a child!" with fondness in her eyes, even if it is for her ex-husband.

Severus knows a lot about second chances, but he knows that they are rare. Third chances are almost impossible to grasp.

And children. _Merlin,_ he knows first-hand how children can be difficult to raise. And even more difficult to keep.

But he remembers the look Lupin and Nymphadora had shared, and he wonders about second chances, of possible futures, of something that is _his_ and who'll have the chance to love him back.

And strangely enough, Severus remembers his mother, how Eileen Prince had been sad and angry, but she had been kind as well. Of anyone Severus had failed, he owes his mother more.

That night, lying in his own bed, Severus Snape makes the decision to keep the child.

* * *

It's not so easy to stick to his decisions.

Pomfrey has given her instructions to the House Elves, who take it upon themselves to make sure these will be followed to the letter. His breakfast is a strange combination of oats and fibre, and some gooey mush that the House Elves insist he consume.

Minerva waits for him in his office the next day, her lips set into a thin line, a reprimand probably waiting to spill. However, she takes a look at Severus' form and probably changes her mind, because her tone is gently when she asks, "What will you do?"

"I'm keeping it," Severus declares, and it makes him feel better, to have someone in on the secret.

Minerva only nods seriously in response. "We'll have to make an announcement for the students' benefit, so we can squash the rumours," she says. "They tend to talk. And you'll have to set up a meeting with the Regents. They've been clamouring for you since the alarms went off yesterday. I've only barely managed to send three of them home last night."

"We will talk to the Regents, but I won't have anyone else prying into my life," Severus says determinedly. "This baby shan't be raised to become another Harry Potter."

Minerva rolls her eyes. "Potter turned out quite well, I should say," she says pompously.

"Despite having addled brains," Severus retorts as he shuffles through his desk. "Judged before his time, with the whole Wizarding world watching his every move...no, Minerva, I refuse to let that happen with my child." He pauses, doesn't look up when he says softly, "Thank you."

Minerva squeezes his shoulder briefly, but she moves away. "You'll...make the decision to tell the father?" she asks casually.

Severus's fists tighten briefly, but he only shrugs in response. "Probably." He clears his throat and shuffles more papers before he meets Minerva's steady gaze. "Has there been any progress in the rebuilding of the Astronomy Tower?"

Minerva's hard stare almost makes him whither, but Severus forces himself to stand tall to meet her solid gaze. "The builder trolls will be arriving next month," she finally reports, fixing her glasses on her nose as she conjures her notes. "However, the things inside the building have been steadily deteriorating with the arrival of winter. The tarpaulins haven't been holding, so we need something hardier."

"I suppose a painting frame will do, but what shall we do of the painting? Or perhaps a blanket...I saw one yesterday," Severus muses. A knock on his door signals a visitor, and they both turn to see Lupin standing by the doorway with an unidentifiable look on his face. Severus motions for Lupin to enter. "We were just talking about the Astronomy Tower," he says, plunging right into the talk. "Do you suppose you can de-curse the thick blanket in the Room of Requirement so we can install it temporarily."

"Are you alright?" Lupin blurts out, looking at him. "Shouldn't you be back in bed?"

"It was just a twenty-four hour bug," Severus mutters. He clears his throat, taps his fingers on the wooden table. "What do you think?"

Lupin stares at him for another few uncomfortable seconds, but he seems to compose himself enough to say, "I don't really think that's a good idea. There are some charms and spells that can be combined to hold the tower upright without damaging the hole. I'll run the idea by Filius and Slughorn."

"Alright," Severus nods briskly. "How about the items in the Room of Requirement? Will you be returning to the inventory of items?"

Lupin nods. "After...yesterday." Said awkwardly, with a scratch of his head. "I did an initial count and assessment. The report is on your desk...right there."

"Right," Minerva coughs. "I'll leave you two to talk it over. I believe I must return to the riveting task of teaching the Slytherin Second Years how to Transfigure tables into suitable broomsticks." She exits with a nod at both men, giving Severus a pointed look that Severus cannot interpret.

Lupin waits until she is well out of earshot before he asks, "Are you all right?"

Severus sits on his armchair, resolving to finish at least half of the _To Do_ pile by lunchtime. He shrugs. "It was a simple cold," he says. "Nothing to worry about."

"You just seemed so pale..." Lupin's voice trails off and he steps closer. "Did you...I never thought to ask if the Basilisk poison had any lingering effects on you."

"Why?" Severus asks sharply, irritated at the idea. "It's been more than a year since." He stops.

Lupin shrugs. "I know, but I only know of five people who survived a Basilik's attack, and only two of them haven't admitted to any lingering effects."

"If the other you're referring to is Potter, then I will have to disagree," Severus says crossly. "I believe his insistence in forming familial ties with the Weasleys is already an unfortunate side-effect."

Lupin laughs, and his stance eases a little. "I'll be sure to tell Ron," he comments dryly. He steps closer, his gaze more peering, and Severus wonders in alarm if he already knows... "You know," he continues, a smile on his lips, "you do seem fine now. Less pale. And you're joking, which is a good sign."

"That wasn't joking," Severus protests.

"It should be," Lupin says seriously, and he grins. "Or I'll seriously think that you're flirting with me."

He leaves the room without waiting for Severus' reply, which is just as well because Severus never manages to come up with a decent rejoinder.

* * *

Although he tries his best, Severus cannot put off avoiding the Ministry of Magic forever. Severus has not emerged from his office by mid-afternoon, mostly to avoid the loud chatter of students making their way through different classes. On hindsight, he should have noticed the suspicious looking man waiting outside his office, but he was far too occupied with the list of reports on the current illnesses children might get nowadays. When the knock came, he gestures for the visitor to enter without looking up.

"Good day, Mr. Snape," a squeaky voice says, with the tone indicating that it is anything but.

Severus looks up. A short but wretchedly thin man stands before him, his balding head made painfully obvious by the small portion of stray hair that stand, likely due to the hat that he now holds in his hands. "Who are you?" Severus asks loudly, not caring if it is rude.

The man's eyes narrow, but he only extends his hand. "Barnaby Geldof, from the Department of Morals and Mortality in Magical Education," he says, his thin fingers wrapping around Severus' bony ones in a handshake. "I've been sent by the Ministry to check on things. I was here yesterday, but your Deputy Headmistress..."

"Ah, yes," Severus says cautiously, removing his fingers immediately. "I apologise, I was ill-disposed."

"Yes, yes, I quite understand," Geldof agrees. "After all, it's not everyday a man discovers he's pregnant, eh?" He chortles, but Severus only glares at him until his laughter tapers off into a cough. "Yes, well, you understand that we have to conduct a thorough investigation and assessment of qualifications. Just to make sure that the mistakes of before don't happen again. Think of it as a pre-evaluation."

Severus scowls. "Hogwarts' return to autonomy from the Minister of Magic will return to place by next year," he reminds the man.

"Well, that's not this year, isn't it?" Geldorf replies cheerfully as he takes out his quill and notebook. "So, let's start with the easy question. Who is the father of the child?"

Severus grits his teeth and forces himself not to look away from the man's steady gaze. "Next question," he mutters. He can already feel a headache coming on.

* * *

By dinnertime, Severus is _furious_ by what he believes are the most offensive and prodding questions he has been asked since his trial after the Battle of Hogwarts. He stalks through the corridors, ignoring the way the students fell over themselves to remove themselves from his path. "Out of my way!" he snarls at one particularly slow Third Year Slytherin, and the boy flattens himself on the wall.

Ginevra Weasley.who strangely thinks that the Battle of Hogwarts gives them a sense of camaraderie.falls into his step. "Headmaster," she says quickly, "I feel I should warn you..."

"I have more important things to do, Weasley," Severus says angrily, not deigning her with a glance. "Thirty points from Gryffindor!"

"But, sir!" Weasley protests, gasping. "Harry just Owled me, says there's someone who's been snooping into your family background records, looking into your genealogy, and there's a...someone asking Bill about it..."

"It's no concern of mine what people do in their spare time. _Cromwell!_ How many times have I told you to stop hanging onto the tapestries! Sixty points from Hufflepuff, you little beast!"

"Sir!" Weasley grabs his hand, which Severus immediately shakes off. "They're making an official announcement _tonight."_

†Severus skids to a halt and turns to her. "WHAT?!" he roars, only to shut up when Weasley slaps a hand on his mouth, her face wary as she drags him to one of the alcoves, well away from the peering eyes of the other students. "Get your hands... _Weasley!_ What is the meaning of this?!"

"Kingsley is trying his best to stop it, but you know how hard it is to convince a group of cantankerous board members. They're cross because the Headmaster is a half-Muggle, and is bearing a child whose father he will not talk about! They plan to release the interview as their official source in the evaluation, to declare you unfit to be Headmaster."

"But there was nothing _to_ say," Severus insists. "And...Geldorf just left my office a few minutes ago!"

"It doesn't matter," Weasley says seriously, scowling back. "He may be on his way with the report there, but it's just a confirmation to what they already know. You'll have to make a formal announcement tonight. Make it happy, say something along the lines of you being ecstatic, it's the best thing that ever happened to you, hope for the next generation... _what it takes!"_

"What... _make it happy!"_ Severus stares at her. "Why would I even attempt to conform to the Ministry's demands?"

"Because," Weasley replies promptly, "the people out there are the parents of the children in Hogwarts, and they've lost their trust in the Ministry after their unbelievable fuck-up during the war. And the Ministry will do everything to get their power back. You understand that, don't you?" Her gaze holds his for a long time.

Severus nods jerkily, fighting his rising panic. Yes, of course, he's familiar with this game, has played it for most his life. Manipulate other people's emotions, always keep one step ahead, and most of all, _don't get caught._ He was so stupid to think that his child will be free from all that, stupid to think that he will ever be free from it all. He swallows past the lump in his throat. "Fine. Right, I'll be...giving the announcement. Thank you, Miss Weasley. Um. Fifty points to Gryffindor."

Weasley gives a startled laugh. "You must be joking," she says. "I didn't do it for the sake of our House. I did it because you're my _friend."_

"And that's why I gave you _fifty,"_ Severus tells her staunchly. He doesn't like how her eyes still has traces of pity despite her smile. "Now, unhand me so I may prepare for the big announcement."

"Good luck, Headmaster," Weasley tells him as Severus pulls away from the alcove.

By stroke up luck, Lupin accosts him on the way to the Great Hall. Severus rolls his eyes and sighs. Apparently, everyone is set on waylaying his path. "I heard you had a visitor from the Ministry," Lupin says casually. "Is everything alright?"

Severus doesn't look at him, but he wants to reach out and grab Lupin's hand, wants someone to anchor him. It's irritating, this roil of emotions coursing through his veins. Mostly, he just feels tired. "I'm fine," he says stiffly. "Geldorf took too long with his questions."

"Geldorf..." Lupin looks thoughtful. "Isn't that the."

"Yes, Barnaby Geldorf from the Department of Morals and Mortality in Magical Education," Severus mutters. "Hasn't the Ministry anything to do than spy on previous Death Eaters?"

"Or heroes," Lupin puts in, then grabs Severus' wrist. Severus tries to shake him off as he did Weasley, but Lupin tightens his hold, pulls him closer. "Are _you_ alright?" he asks, his voice low.

Severus swallows and tries not to look at Lupin's lips, nor at the near vicinity of his mouth. "I'm fine," he tells the space above Lupin's shoulder. "Let go of me."

"It's high time you stop avoiding me," Lupin tells him calmly. "I'd invite you to stop by the Room of Requirement, but I'm afraid the room that'll come out shan't be a large room full of uselessly Cursed Items. So I'll invite you to tea in my room tonight instead."

"I..." Severus shakes his head. "I haven't been..."

 _"Months,_ Severus," Lupin says, his voice dropping another notch. He steps closer, and Severus can't help himself, forcing himself to step back when he _needs_ to be closer. "You refuse my Owls, hide in your office, and now that I'm here."

Someone coughs nearby and Severus jumps back, noticing how Lupin doesn't drop his hold on his wrist.

Minerva apparently notices, by the pointed look she gives them and the way her eyebrow raises. "The House Elves have served your food."

 _Pregnant,_ Severus reminds himself, and he takes another step back. _Cannot. Must not._ Lupin certainly wouldn't want to be with him if he learns. And he _will_ learn about it, later. One thing Severus has learned very well in the past is that everything will catch up to him. It's only a matter of time. He clears his throat and pulls away. "Thank you, Minerva." He follows her to the Great Hall, without turning to see if Lupin goes after them.

Although the House Elves took care to make sure that the food specially made for Severus is delicious, Severus barely tastes it. It's like ash in his mouth, and he cannot understand how something as simple as telling the truth might seem like a death sentence. But knowing his penchant for massive fuck-ups, this probably already is.

Finally, he can't take it anymore. Lupin is at the far end of the professors' table, bequeathed to him as their guest, but Severus notices that he stops eating to glance up at him when he abruptly stands.

Severus swallows quickly and looks down at all the children, with their noise still bouncing off each other, generally making a nuisance of themselves. He says in a loud voice, "I've an announcement."

Minerva squeezes his hand under the table before she lets go to shush the nearest child.

Severus nods at her, then thinks, _This is very likely going to be the easiest part._ He raises his hand, waiting for the noise to die down. "Shut up, all of you," he says, waving a hand over his mouth to conduce a projective voice. "Now, what I'm saying may not be important to you, but Professor McGonagall and I concluded that we had better get ahead of the gossip.something we both thought might be important for all of you to know about me." A crash and a very loud, _"What the **fuck**?!"_ comes from one of the tables. Severus glares at its direction. "Two points from Slytherin, Miss Etherton. Now, it has come to my attention that the Board of Regents may be questioning my capabilities as a Headmaster of this school. These questions have been around for years, and I do not expect that they disappear within the next few months.not even the next few years. However, as this is a..." He pauses, the clenches his teeth at the next words, " _joyous_ occasion, I am proud to share to you that I am pregnant and will hopefully be a father in the next five months."

For a second, there is no sound inside the Great Hall as every student, professor, and staff gawks at him.

Then, Dennis Creevey announces incredulously, "That is _no way_ that's not a prank!"

Someone gives a weak laugher, and there's a few tittering here and there. Severus grimaces. "Perhaps it is too much to hope that you'll all finally _behave_ to keep my stress level down," he grumbles, forgetting that his voice is still being projected.

And apparently, it's all that takes for the entire room to spring to life, with some of them saying, _"No way!"_ and _"He does look quite fat,"_ and _"Oh god, is that even possible?!"_

Inevitably though, someone will ask, and it's surprisingly a brave Hufflepuff First Year who comes up to his table and asks, "Who's the other dad, Headmaster?"

Severus starts to shake his head, but a shadow appears next to him, hand on his arm. Lupin leans forward to the little girl and declares firmly, "I am."

Jerking out of his touch, Severus glares at him, but catches the way Pomfrey's eyes widen. They're _doomed._

* * *

Hagrid sweeps both of them in a hug. _both of them in his arms_.right before they manage to escape the debacle. They leave the giant openly weeping, with Filius consoling them after his quick congratulation.

Severus whirls around to Lupin just as the door closes. "What the hell was _that?"_ he hisses.

"Me, saving your arse," Lupin snaps back. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?!"

"It was none of your concern!" Severus yells back. '"I had everything under control, and I simply told the students because their parents."

"Oh, then you'd rather the parents of your students know before the father of the child does?" Lupin's face is red, too incensed and, if Severus doesn't have more self-control, he'd have swung his fist into the man's face. "If you had...Severus, I kept waiting for you to say something."

"You are not the father of this child!" Severus bellows.

"Then who else did you have sex with four months ago?!" Lupin roars back.

Minerva appears before them and steps between them to physically push both men away from each other. "I'll pretend that you two are not acting like five-year-olds, especially that one of you is currently pregnant," she says seriously. "Settle down!"

"He started it!" Severus says shrilly, then shuts his mouth with a snap.

Minerva sends him a condescending look. "Now look, both of you. Lupin's declaration has been immediately recorded in two separate documents: Severus' medical record and in _Hogwarts: A History._ I wish you all the luck trying to explain _that_ to the Regents."

Lupin huffs, glares at Severus. "He never even _Owled,"_ he says, his arms flailing. "I'm not an idiot to know that it's already a rejection, but if he had simply clarified."

 _"I. Do not. Know. What. You are. Talking. **ABOUT.** "_ Severus seethes. "You natter on and on about things you can change and."

Then all of a sudden, all the blood drains from Lupin's face and he steps back. "You really...don't remember?" he stammers.

Severus prides himself for being an intelligent man, but nothing prepares him for the moment when he finally puts two and two together. He shakes his head instead, finding himself mute in the face of this situation.

"Shite," Lupin says. He runs a hand through his hair. "I haven't..."

"I don't expect anything," Severus puts in immediately, because Lupin has to hear it. "And I was...I was _sloshed,_ enough that I forgot about it, so I won't..." He shakes his head, steps back again, only to find that Minerva has a hand on his arm. He looks at her, feels like a child again with his _need_ to explain, but there's a gentle look in Minerva's eyes.

"Come on, then, Severus," she says, tugging at his arm, "we have to take care of those papers for the Ministry."

"I suppose tea in my room tonight is out of the question," Lupin says quietly. Ginevra Weasley appears behind him, a look of curiosity on her face.

Severus swallows and shrugs. "I never agreed," he replies, just as quiet. He doubts Lupin will seek him out in the same manner ever again.

* * *

Over the next few days, Severus starts his day at dawn, when he trudges out to the snow for his morning walk. He follows Pomfrey's directions to the letter, even schedules a check-up in St Mungo's in the coming week. He reads up on male pregnancy, then wondered about the Great-Uncle in his mother's side, whom Pomfrey had once mentioned. He looks it up in the periodicals, finds a notice at at one corner of the pages: _"Epsilon Prince Gives Birth to Healthy Boy for Husband Elim Hurosk",_ which shows two men.one of them with a stern and hawkish nose.holding a baby stiffly in their arms while the infant laughs and waves.

He hears from Pomfrey that Lupin asks for updates on Severus' condition, but she has told him that the decision relies solely on Severus. He signs some documents that allow Lupin access to his records up until the child is born.which is when the agreement will cease and new papers will have to be drawn.

From Minerva and Slughorn, Severus also learns that Lupin has managed to de-Curse at least fifty items, and that there are some paintings that needs a complex Spell-Disentanglement, which will probably take another three months. He also learns from them that Lupin has taken to leaving during the weekends, probably to go home to his _legitimate son_ Theodore.

On his first visit to St Mungo's, he walks out of his room and is surprised to find Hermione Granger standing there, apparently waiting for him.

"I wouldn't want to do this alone, and neither should you," she explains, and doesn't let Severus get another word in edgewise. She also doesn't shut up about the new laws and headways they're getting to in the Ministry of Magic. During the next hour, Severus discovers that the Know-it-All's voice can penetrate through his deafness charm and resigns himself to a very long wait.

Still, she manages to shut up inside the room while Midwife Yamsden checks his and the infant's health. She pronounces him fit, then cautions that he better stop running as this might be dangerous for the child. "There's a reason why many pregnant males have to be bed-ridden by their sixth month," she tells him. "You're lucky nothing happened during the months you didn't know you were pregnant."

Severus gives her a wan smile which he is sure will only dissuade her.

"Can we know the baby's sex?" Granger asks eagerly. "Is there a charm for that?"

Yamsden snorts. "There hasn't been a demand for the duplicate of that particular Muggle device," she declares. "And most parents would rather not know."

"Well, _I'll_ certainly want to know," Granger says cheekily. "And it's probably not all that difficult to make an Ultrasound charm."

Severus has to roll his eyes at the pompous statement, then immediately wishes she would shut up when she starts talking about the importance of health care. Yamsden also wisely ignores her from then on.

They get back by dinnertime, and while Severus knows he should be inviting Granger for dinner, he certainly doesn't want to be with her company any longer. He walks quickly towards the dungeons, hoping the girl would take the hint and stop following him, but the two people waiting outside his door stops him.

Lupin looks at him when Severus turns the corner, but Ronald Weasley only steps forward and says, "Hope it went well, Professor."

"What are you doing here?" Severus asks, fighting against the urge to cross his arms in a defensive gesture.

Granger only squeezes Severus' hand and tells Weasley, "C'mon, Ginny's waiting for us to have supper with her."

Weasley gives them a nod, touches Lupin's elbow briefly before he follows his friend up the stairs. "Nice to see you again, Professor," he says awkwardly and without much convincing.

Severus sneers at them, but he pushes past Lupin to enter his rooms. "I sincerely hope Ronald Weasley didn't have to convince you to come here."

"No," Lupin says as he follows Severus into the room. "But he did suggest that if it was his child, he wouldn't let his wife go alone when checking on the baby."

"Then why was Granger with me instead of him?" Severus has to wonder.

Lupin laughs, scratches his head. "Because he also said that imagining you as pregnant will only make him hurl," he offers.

Severus has to smile at that, but he quickly fights it. "So he opted to accompany you here instead," he puts in, nodding, before he goes to his wine cabinet. "Drink? I have elderflower wine."

"I'd rather not," Lupin puts in quickly. "Tea, if it's..." He stops, then goes on bravely, "I'd rather we're both sober for this."

Severus pauses, nods, and rings the House Elves for dinner and some tea. It arrives immediately, prepared on Severus' chess table. The meagre space makes the presentation cramped, but Lupin doesn't seem to mind as he starts on his dinner. They eat the meal in silence, until Severus asks, "How is your work in the Room of Requirement?"

Lupin's face clears and he relaxes marginally. "Good," he says, looking thoughtful. "We'll be ready to do the Spell-Disentanglement charm on the paintings, but it means we'll have to work quickly to chase the particular Curse before it merges with another and form another strain. The rusted swords are now good as new, ready to be used for the fencing club, in case anyone wishes to do it again. Slughorn has been particularly helpful, although he doesn't know most of what we're doing."

"Slughorn's specialties always seem to rely more on _defense_ rather than _application,"_ Severus offers. "Have you thought about hiring one of the students on scholarship here? Hogwarts will pay for their time, of course, but."

Lupin grins. "I'd rather not," he admits. "Minerva once sat me down and explained the school budget and the reasons why you can't afford to buy new materials for the school. I'd rather not sit down through that again, thank you."

"Minerva has this strange fascination for numbers," Severus agrees. "She always rambles during the monthly faculty meeting. In some ways, she's like Granger. The girl wouldn't stop talking the entire time!"

Lupin pauses, and Severus sees the way guilt washes over his expression. He looks away, refusing to apologise over something they both have no control over. "Severus," Lupin says, and this time his voice is lower, more chastised, "I'm sorry I didn't go with you to your check-up. It must have been hard for you."

"I'll say," Severus snaps, grabbing a piece of cheese-covered bread. "Granger can be a menace."

But Lupin sighs. "Ron tore me a new one earlier, said it doesn't matter if he's responsible or not, only I should think of what you're going through."

Severus jerks back, snorting. "You needn't feel sorry for me!" he snaps.

"I'm not. Severus, I'm not." Lupin sighs again, smiling. "I just thought...did you know how I begged Harry to help him find the Horcruxes during the previous war? And you know why?" His voice drops shamefully as he says, "I didn't want to look at Teddy."

Severus' hand instinctively places itself on his rounded stomach. He feels the need to be ill at the thought of a child abandoned by his father.temporarily, but the actual thought of rejection when the man has sworn he would never again do that makes him angry, and he does not understand. Lupin's actions should not affect him, but it does."I'm sorry to hear that," he says stiffly. "But I don't know."

"I'm a coward, Severus," Lupin interrupts. "I swore I wouldn't do it, but I did it again, didn't I? Ran away when you needed me the most."

The attempt to mollify the action makes Severus stand up immediately, his chair almost toppling in his haste as he points as Lupin. He cannot take it anymore. "Yes, you _did,"_ he accuses. "You're utter _shite_ if you think that just because he doesn't grow in you, you're free to come and go as you please! Before you learned about my pregnancy, you were gung-ho about pursuing a relationship. But where have you been during the last few weeks? Trapped yourself in the Room of Requirement for work! Or with your son.whom you didn't even want to see when was born!" He's shaking.small quivers that feel like they're about to get out of control. "I'd have thought you've grown up just a tad bit, but you're just the same boy who wouldn't."

"Yes, I am! I have!" Lupin jumps up, presumably from the mention of their shared pasts. "I cannot apologise for what James and Sirius and Peter did, but I'm here now! I apologise! There, I apologise for all I've done, for everything, and I..." He stops, sags, and continues almost pleadingly, "Severus, I'm here now."

"And until when?" Severus sneers. "Until you tire of your child as you did with Nymphadora?"

"Dora and I did everything for the wrong reasons during a time when we thought they would be right," Lupin says in a garbled voice. "And in the end, we knew it wouldn't work as well if we stayed together than if we were apart. We may not see eye-to-eye when it come to caring for our son, but Teddy is growing up wonderfully, and I'd like to think I've...that I've learned something."

"Well congratulations, Lupin," Severus says frostily. "From your story, all I hear is that you learn you're not ready to be a grown-up." Lupin's face pales, but Severus is done. He's _done._ "Lock the door when you leave," he advises, already heading towards his private rooms. "You'll receive the child's records every time an examination is done. You needn't feel obliged to do anything about it."

Severus leaves the other man in the living quarters, and he goes to his desk where his papers are strewn about, his books open. On the desk, a Muggle picture of a woman.of Eileen Prince.looks up at him, cold, hard, and unmoving. Unforgiving.

It's a long time before he hears the shuffling noise of Lupin's footsteps, but it's only when he hears the door close behind him that he lets out his breath. Severus closes his eyes and tries to ignore the stinging wetness behind his eyelids.

* * *

Severus oversleeps the next day as he spent the entire night tossing and turning, but no-one makes a fuss as it is the weekend. When he gets up, he eats the breakfast the House Elves have laid down for him, before he checks the schedule for the next week. The corridors and hallways are silent except for the number of First and Second Years who are running to and from their dormitories to the library for extra research. The older years are out for their monthly Hogsmeade visit, and Severus enjoys the blessed time alone.

Which is why he's surprised to find Minerva also in the library. "I thought you might be in Hogsmeade," he says.

Minerva waves her arms, indicating the piles of paper before her. "I'll go there later. Right now, there are some interesting facts that Lupin has pointed out about the properties of teacups and their susceptibility to Curses, so I thought I'd research it." She peers at Severus over her glasses. "Why are _you_ here?"

"Resting," Severus says, groaning as drops unto the chair beside her. His stomach is now uncomfortably bulky, and he's had to let out a few seams over the past few weeks. He thinks idly that he'll become even more bloated over the next months, and wonders what he'll look like. And leads to wondering how the _baby_ might look like.

He's deep in his thoughts when he hears a soft voice permeate, "Severus...Severus...?"

"Mm?" he asks sleepily.

Minerva nudges him. "Madame Pince is glaring at you, so I suggest you keep the snoring down," she tells him in amusement.

Severus yawns. "I apologise," he says. "I had a difficult night."

Minerva is silent for a moment, before he broaches, "Lupin was here last night."

Severus immediately tenses and he nods jerkily. "We talked."

The other professor smirks. "If that's what you children call it nowadays..."

Severus rolls his eyes. "We argued," he clarifies. "I called him a coward, he apologised, and I told him he doesn't have to come back here again."

"Why on earth would you do that?" Minerva gapes.

Severus shrugs, and the indignant anger fills him again, slower now, but still quite as deadly. "He told me some...things. About the difficulty of his marriage to Miss Tonks. He also shared how he tried to run away from the responsibility of raising Theodore...Lupin, his son, probably with some excuse about being too overwhelmed." He shrugs. "It would have been fine...but Lupin was...Remus wasn't..."

"You're afraid that he's done it before, he'll do it again," Minerva finishes.

Severus shrugs, refusing to meet her eyes.

Minerva nudges him again. "Severus, you of all people know that everyone deserves a second chance."

"Not when it's someone else's life," Severus retorts. "When it was Potter, or when it was Lily, I never hesitated. I simply _did/"_

"You'll agree that Lupin doesn't have quite the sense of survival that you have," Minerva replies dryly. "But courage comes in many forms, and sometimes it's not just being scared and doing it anyway. It's sometimes admitting you're wrong and coming back for another try."

Severus gives a sharp bark of laughter. "What if there's nothing worth coming back to?" he asks.

"I have no idea," Minerva confesses, already writing on her notes. "But perhaps you can ask Remus himself. He's standing by Madame Pince's table."

Severus jerks back and turns too quickly, his neck suffers a whiplash. Indeed, Remus Lupin stands by the desk, looking nervous and hopeful at the same time. He holds his wand in both hands, carefully not pointed to another direction, his fingers tracing and re-tracing the unevenly smooth wood.

Severus swallows, and suddenly, he can recall with vivid clarity, how Lupin had pressed against his back that night.four or five months ago.of long fingers over his stomach, grasping his cock and whispering, _"I've wanted to do this all my life."_

"Go on then," Minerva whispers. "Before Pince makes him leave."

He stands abruptly, still meeting Lupin's gaze. And though he refuses to admit it, Severus feels a flutter in his stomach, the faint outline of a baby's kick, when he sees the hopeful look on Remus' face.

* * *

Remus says, "I want to take you somewhere."

Severus frowns. "Is this kidnapping?"

"It's only kidnapping if you refuse," Remus replies, and it's so easy to allow him to hold Severus' hand, let him lead Severus through the corridors. "Is the Floo line in your office open? I came here through Apparating but I've read somewhere it's not recommended for pregnant people at your stage."

"The Floo is connected," Severus replies, bewildered. "Where..."

"Trust me," Remus says, then softer, "Please, Severus."

Curious, but not entirely unwelcome. Severus nods, feels the warmth seep from Remus' hold on his wrist. "Alright," he agrees.

In his office, Remus throws a handful of powder into the fireplace while announcing, _"Wolf Cottage!"_ Green smoke furls through the mantel, stretching over their robes as Remus tugs Severus through.out from his office and into a quaint living room filled with pictures, comfortable seats, and children's toys. Severus looks around in surprise. He honestly never thought he'd ever be invited in Remus' house.

"DA!" A small round thing hurls itself into Remus' legs, making Severus jump, but Remus only laughs and kneels down.

"Hallo, Little Man!" he greets. "You had fun?"

"Lots!" the object replies, and at a quick glance, Severus discovers that the child's hair is purple, his nose longer. The only resemblance Remus has with him is the wide grin. "Mama's waiting lots, too."

Nymphadora emerges from one of the rooms, dressed in her purple grunge attire complete with dark thigh boots. "Hullo, Remus, Severus," she greets, kissing Remus' cheek and nodding at Severus. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to dash for my date. Remus, give me a call before you drop Teddy off at my flat tomorrow, mm?" She nods at them, kneels before Teddy to say, "Alright, squirt, don't drive Da and his guest wild, okay? Give mummy a kiss!"

Teddy giggles and obeys. In a few minutes, Nymphadora is shouting her own location to the Floo and stepping through the flames with a wave at them.

Remus puts Teddy over his shoulder, grabbing a bucket full of toys to move out of the way. "Have you met this man, Teddy?" he asks. "Do you know his name?"

"Teddy!" Teddy announces gleefully.

Remus rolls his eyes. "That's _your_ name. This here is _Severus._ You may call him _Sev."_

Teddy tries the different variations on which a two-year-old may say the name before settling for _"Zeb."_ He reaches out to pat Severus' hair, and ends up tangling his sticky fingers through and laughing at the results. The tugging pains Severus momentarily, but Remus apologises and prepares milk for him and he brings out the cookies.all while Teddy sits on his shoulders. They sit at the table while Teddy interrogates Severus, mostly about his favourite ice-cream or show on the telly, and if it's true that Severus has lots of cauldrons that he can bang someday since he likes music.

After their afternoon tea, Remus lets Teddy play at the backyard while they sit on the porch, observing as Teddy runs through the garden, looking for insects. Remus makes some toys hover on the air, all within Teddy's reach to keep him distracted and occupied.

Severus fidgets with his robes and asks quietly, "Why did you bring me here?"

Remus appears to be concentrating on cushioning his son from what may otherwise be a nasty trip. "I hoped you might see how I can be good," he replies after a long moment. "To your life. To our child."

Severus looks away. "Teddy looks happy," he says.

"It wasn't always like this," Remus confesses, giving him a brief smile. "Dora and I...we were bollocksing everything up, enough that towards the end, Teddy was staying in his grandmother's more, and Dora was always out with her friends." Remus shrugs. "We found out the hard way that we both didn't expect to come out of the war alive. When we did, it threw us off our game. Finally, Andromeda said she's had enough, and she told us we have to do better or else risk fucking up our son's life. That sobered us enough."

"And yet four months ago..." Severus cannot help the jibe.

Remus is silent for a long moment, before he grins at Severus. "I can't say I learn my lesson quickly," he admits. "But Merlin knows I'm trying. Dora and I always argue about our methods for raising Teddy. She thinks I'm too strict, I believe she's too lenient. Maybe in some ways, I'm compensating over what happened to you before." He looks away. "It physically hurts me to think about anyone hurting my children the same way I've hurt you all those years ago. So I..." He pauses, gives Severus a wobbly smile. "I want the chance to get things right. And not only for them. With you, now. Always with you."

Severus looks up to the orange sky signalling the end of the day. If he closes his eyes, he can hear Teddy's voice, can easily imagine the voice as their daughter or son. He tells Remus, "I don't know how Teddy can ever factor into this. I can't promise any miracle families, Lupin." Even though he's already beginning to respond to Teddy's shouts of, _"Zeb! Look, Zeb!"_

"All I ask is you allow me to try again," Remus tells him seriously.

Severus puts a hand on his tummy, feels the faint beginning of the baby's kicks. Remus watches him for a while, before Severus holds out his hand, grabs Remus', and places it on his top of his belly.

"I suppose we can try it," Severus says reluctantly. "Without the whisky this time, if you don't mind." He pauses, then says casually, "Besides, it shall be hard to finging a decent Curse-Breaker willing to work in Hogwarts."

Remus' smile is blinding, and later Severus will let Remus kiss him outside his dungeons when he returns to Hogwarts.

But right now, in Remus' backyard while the sun sets, Severus finds it hard to think about the immediate future when he's staring at the way Remus' thick fingers lie on the bulk of his stomach, and how they look perfect intertwined with his.


End file.
